again?

ok.. so its another day... and another day closer to my exams.. yes i'm shitting in my pants thinking about it... ahhh.. i've never been this scared for exams in my life cause i've never been this unprepared.. i mean seriously.. what has gotten into me i dont know? and at the most crucial point in my education life? right... way to go laura!

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i miss you.. myself.. where have ya gone?

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those innocent eyes..

do they fool me once again?

dont mock me

how can i?

emotions run wild

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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finals is in two weeks! *god help me*

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anyways.. i'm in the computer lab now in monash supposedly doing my dynamics report.. but..
ahem.. truthfully i have no idea what to do..

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so i'm blogging while watching Ian working his ass off doing the report.

me likey you Ian.. you the best :)

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heehee.. and my other group mate... hmmm... xin li the oh-so-sarcastic woman which made me drop on my ass yesterday!!!! * i hate u! bleh!* heehee.. is out buying food for us... kakaka..

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on a random note..

i can't wait for redang.. my getaway from everything

i really need it.. NEED IT

dont take this away from me.

.

hmmm..

what else..

oh oh oh oh... i can go watch movie later!!

indiana Jones baybeh!! i mean it's a classic! it's a must watch!!

didn't you guys see it when we were kids?? all the running into desserts..

into the temple of doom..

coooooooollll....

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i've been watching gossip girls lately.. it's soooo ADDICTIVE..

i like dan.. so hot.. *drools...*

nate is good too.. but he doesn't have that special "umpphh"..

my taste is different. deal with it!

me like.

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ok ok..back to work...

bye

night at monash

ok i know that i posted this pics up on facebook edi..
but i had to do something in this blog!
it's dying!!
i need pictures! colours! fashion! style!!

anything!

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.weeeeee!!!!...

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that's the effects of chocolates and cheesecake at 2 in the morning..

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so yeah..
as most of you know..
i've been staying back at college every damn day for goodness know how long..
doing assignments and projects..
yes.. life's tough..

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"but when the going get's tough.. the tough goes shopping.."

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that should be life's philosophy..

but life aint listening to me.

life's a bitch

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damn.

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anyways.. so we decided to climb the roof of monash

just for fun.

and explore everywhere.

trust me.

monash is beautiful at night.

you should come see!

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i'll post up the monash pics soon.

or better yet.

just go see my facebook.

bleeehh!

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saab, devan and me

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saab and jeremy.

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the GUYS hard at work. haha

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this pic is just too funnny.
i need to post it up anywhere possible.
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devan's glasses

i want funky glasses

=)

note to self

you know sometimes when we get our heart broken by a person..
things really change..
people will change and we tend to be not as forgiving as we could have actually been..
but that's how a person is right, when they have been hurt?...
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but sometimes i think we just expect too much from someone..
just because we know it's right and we expect it to happen...
doesn't ensure that the person know it is right and that the person would know that it is what should happen too..
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ever got into a fight and wished things be the same as before?
i have...
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and you feel like you try and try to make things work but things just can't be the same again..
.
cause if we put our energy in making things Exactly like how it was before..
we're only gonna get disappointed cause the cold hard truth is..
that things are never gonna be the same again..
the more we wish they were, the more we put our hopes up..
the more things fail.. and the less we believe again..
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so does hope really strengthen or weaken our faith we put in things?
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maybe the right kind of hope would strengthen us...
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instead of wishing things be the same..
how bout trying to make things better..
try to improve and not expect the person to be That person you wished he or she was a long time ago..
cause really.. it aint gonna happen..
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instead of changing that person to suit your liking..
or changing yourself to suit their liking..
how about changing the situation by improving yourself,
and accepting the other.
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just a thought.
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why dont you try it?
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mmmmm

jom jom pergi penang!

omg...

i did not just say that...

randomness..

good trip.

random trip to penang to makan!

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cool

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just me and you and the audi gang.. lol

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gurney hotel. nice

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my bathroom in the lovely suite

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oooooo

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my bedroom view.

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me and you.

omg

the world is getting corrupted.
worst and worst.
no. dont feel proud.
poor ol DJ school.
black around edges.
you meanies!
i had memories there k!
thank God it didn't go up in flames.
hmmm........... really?
lol.

it comes and goes

i knew it
just wait a few weeks, a month?
the drizzle will come back again.
sunshine.. gone.
was it ever here?
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you know what to do.
just keep running.
like two gears. one rotating pulling the other.
(i just learnt that in dynamics class)
helps to keep myself distracted.
i mean focused right?
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i miss my friends.
i miss my old friends.
i miss my primary school friends.
i miss my secondary school friends.
i miss my friends i lost touch with.
i miss my friends i forgot to keep in touch with.
i miss my friends that went away.
i miss my friends that i could trust.
i miss my friends that were there for me.
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you know when i was young,
i had this issue.
maybe i still do.
i dunno..
.
i couldn't have anyone being angry at me or upset.
i'd just feel so bad.
even if we had a fight and it wasn't my fault.
i just couldn't let it be cause it didn't seem right.
i'd chase the person down.
tell them i'm so sorry.
beg for forgiveness.
i feel like an idiot :P
but that was how i was.
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now that i'm older and ahem.
i seem to not care so much anymore.
why is that?
why?
.
you know why?
cause i realized they stopped caring to.
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i mean.. i just really want things to be right.
things to be happy.
crystal clear and everything else to go away.
and you know what.
a part of me knows it really is gonna be good someday.
cause i told myself this once.
and i'm gonna stick to it.
but honestly.
for now.
i just dont care anymore.
dont give a shit.
but i promise you.
i'll change.
someday i'll be me again.
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once i love a person.
i can never take it back.
love as a friend, lover, family member, pet, anyone.
you'll always be in my heart.
.
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ever had that time in your life where you realized that you've changed a lot.
well yeah..
that's what happened to me..
i was just looking back on my life and thinking.
what the hell was i doing back then.
or what the hell am i thinking now?
why didn't i keep the promises i made?
why didn't i be like how i thought i'd be?
wasn't i suppose to be that person?
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i feel like an old woman nagging on her past life or something.
but honestly.. i just wonder.
am i heading in the right direction?
is the people around me leading me to glory or to the path to doom.
where have u gone and what have you done to me?
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my heart aches right now.
literally.
and it goes out to you
whereever you are.
if you feel lonely or blue.
think of something good you can do.
some part of you that hoped for righteousness once when you were young.
something you dreamt that would make the world a better place.
or the people around you happier.
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think of it.
.
and seriously.
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just go for it.
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memories

ever wondered why God put memories in our head?
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yeah i know.. it's like a reminder or something right?
so that we dont repeat the same mistakes again.
but what if we still do?
what other reminders can he give?
lightning strikes?
i dont believe that shit.
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ok back to memories...
right so... they are there...
good or bad... they linger in your mind, twisting and turning your thoughts...
making you exxagerate a moment or think of it too lightly.
making you wonder if whatever that happened before really happened or did i just make it all up in our heads?
damn these memories.. ok fine.. you wanna stay in my head.. stay.. but get your facts right!
or maybe you could just go away?
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why do things that you want to be there always go away?
but things that you just wanna get out of your damn head.. just wont fucking move out of your head.
damn you.
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so yeah... this memories..
ever wondered if you could just create a moment with your memory..
i mean you could...
we go through so many different things in our lives as days pass by..
.
i mean... if i just kept thinking i'm a millionaire? would that make me one?
obviously not..
but if i think of things in a positive note..
like let's say... hmm... i'm a hardworking person... i am... yes i am... think think think...
stress... stress.. stresss....
let's see in two months time if i am..
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or maybe a memory was made to torture us.
too many good things in our lives?
die die die.
our memory is there to remind us and humble us of our ignorant behaviors.
.
right...
i wonder what would happen one day if my memory got wiped out totally blank.
would i be able to start fresh again?
but then... honestly...
if i'm thinking logically...
if i'm me..
i'll make the same damn fucking mistake again..
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so yeah..
what's the use of this memory anyways..
their suppose to teach me to change..
but have i?
really?
i may be different..
but honestly..
do you really know me?
do i really know you?
do i wanna know me better?
do i wanna know you any bettter?
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there's a dark secret inside everyone..
but i honestly secretly hope that there's a "bright" fringe on the other side..
maybe people are not so bad after all..
maybe some part of us are actually Godly and not so humanly influence to the point that we think only of ourselves and forget that there are others out there suffering more than us..
dying to live when we are just living to die..
they fight for their survival while we take advantage of ours..
where's the fairness in that..
i should just give my life to one of them instead of wasting mine away...

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am i a hypocrit?
oh yes i am. i'm not denying it
but at least i try
do you?
.
try

quotes that keep me going

Flatter me, and I may not believe you.

Criticize me, and I may not like you.

Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.

Encourage me, and I may not forget you.

~William Arthur

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Until you value yourself you will not value your time.

Until you value your time,

you will not do anything with it.

~Scott Peck

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It's not so much how busy you are,

but why you are busy.

The bee is praised.

The mosquito is swatted.

~Mary O'Connor

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And in the end

it's not the years in your life that count.

It's the life in your years.

~Abraham Lincoln

life's tough

guess what
another project failed
guess what again
four more projects-assignments to go
guess what even more
no time to be done
guess what again
exam is coming
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what am i doing here?

screw it

life just sucks more as time passes by

it's a fact

Frangipani

Happy Anniversary

Raf's mommy and daddy!

25 years is almost a lifetime..

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may your marriage be blessed with hope and love always.

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Time is too slow for those who wait,

too swift for those who fear,

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love,

time is eternity.

~Henry Van Dyke~

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love
~Albert Einstein

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i stare into your eyes and i get lost inside it,
trying to find my way out is impossible,
you keep me there, sheltered and secure,
how much more can i grow?
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deeper in love?