memories

ever wondered why God put memories in our head?
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yeah i know.. it's like a reminder or something right?
so that we dont repeat the same mistakes again.
but what if we still do?
what other reminders can he give?
lightning strikes?
i dont believe that shit.
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ok back to memories...
right so... they are there...
good or bad... they linger in your mind, twisting and turning your thoughts...
making you exxagerate a moment or think of it too lightly.
making you wonder if whatever that happened before really happened or did i just make it all up in our heads?
damn these memories.. ok fine.. you wanna stay in my head.. stay.. but get your facts right!
or maybe you could just go away?
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why do things that you want to be there always go away?
but things that you just wanna get out of your damn head.. just wont fucking move out of your head.
damn you.
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so yeah... this memories..
ever wondered if you could just create a moment with your memory..
i mean you could...
we go through so many different things in our lives as days pass by..
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i mean... if i just kept thinking i'm a millionaire? would that make me one?
obviously not..
but if i think of things in a positive note..
like let's say... hmm... i'm a hardworking person... i am... yes i am... think think think...
stress... stress.. stresss....
let's see in two months time if i am..
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or maybe a memory was made to torture us.
too many good things in our lives?
die die die.
our memory is there to remind us and humble us of our ignorant behaviors.
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right...
i wonder what would happen one day if my memory got wiped out totally blank.
would i be able to start fresh again?
but then... honestly...
if i'm thinking logically...
if i'm me..
i'll make the same damn fucking mistake again..
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so yeah..
what's the use of this memory anyways..
their suppose to teach me to change..
but have i?
really?
i may be different..
but honestly..
do you really know me?
do i really know you?
do i wanna know me better?
do i wanna know you any bettter?
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there's a dark secret inside everyone..
but i honestly secretly hope that there's a "bright" fringe on the other side..
maybe people are not so bad after all..
maybe some part of us are actually Godly and not so humanly influence to the point that we think only of ourselves and forget that there are others out there suffering more than us..
dying to live when we are just living to die..
they fight for their survival while we take advantage of ours..
where's the fairness in that..
i should just give my life to one of them instead of wasting mine away...

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am i a hypocrit?
oh yes i am. i'm not denying it
but at least i try
do you?
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try