Oooh life

Ohkay.... yeap... uhuh....em... yeah.... my life is for the first time... boring...... lol stagnant.. as though of no purpose although i know there is a purpose in my life.. the first thing i need to do is take the first step to get off my butt and find a job and yet i have no will to do it.. so i'm thinking to myself.. i'm gonna wait until i have the inspiration to do it.. if not i'm never gonna be happy that i did it.. i know what you're thinking.. she's never gonna get off her butt and find a job.. but uhuh!!! that's where you are wronggg!! you are wrong i tell you!!!! i will.... i WILLLLL... and at that time i will be fully motivated to do so.. :)
yay :) *gleams with satisfaction*

Whitney Houston will forever live on.

Its crazy when a legend dies and leave such a mark on the world. You know that there was a reason to her music in this world. Her lyrics were more than beautiful, it brought inspiration and hope to many around the world and no matter what situation i'm in, somehow one of her songs expresses my emotions perfectly. Rest in Peace Whitney.

If I should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you. Hmm.

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you, you need.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.

(Instrumental solo)

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.

You, darling, I love you.
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.

the 10th month

Can you imagine it's almost the end of 2011. I mean what the hell did I do this year? oh well. besides wasting time procrastinating throughout my studies and assignments.. and I almost remember working my internship for two months earlier this year.. and then there's breaking people's hearts which is what i do best somehow.. and yeah.. here I am 2 months away from 2012 and we don't even know if the world is going to end! LOL.. My friend Kevin refuses to watch the movie 2012 until 2012 actually comes.. Then I guess the people that freaked out initially can like just slap themselves in the face silly. Lol. I mean it's crazy sometimes when you read in the papers about people selling all their property and quiting their jobs because some loonatic said the world was gonna end. I mean seriously??? If someone told you eating poop is gonna make you look prettier would you do it??? err.. but then again I have heard of some people that actually eat... cow dunk... for health.... like... seriously... no joke.............. *brrrrrr....* gotta shake the image off.. I feel my chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream knocking on my tummy walls.. lol.. ugh.. I am putting on weight like mad and it's not even funny.. dont you dare laugh =_=... 

Well a lot has happened this year like I said.. oh.. i think the last time I blogged was like July,. so since then I celebrated my 22nd Birthday.. woohoo me.. :) and I passed my first semester.. celebrated Raya and plenty of birthdays.. and well I cant recall much except for what has happened lately and that is my prom night.. omg.. that was an experience of a lifetime.. Well I took part in the Ms Monash competition and well basically five girls are chosen out of the bunch that shamelessly audition just like yours truly.. and well we go through photoshoots and fittings and well just spend some time together and then on that night we finally perform for the audience at the ball and everyone gets to vote for their favourite... I would Loveee to say I won.. but I didn't.. lol.. anyways, congratulations to Tse Leng that won.. she's a gorgeous girl with a great personality and hell that woman can shake her body at belly dancing! haha.. that was her talent performance by the way... and mine was singing.. which I was sooooo bloody nervous that I went out of tune and though ppl kept telling me I didnt... I think I know enough music and have done enough singing in church to know that I definitelyyyy went off somewhere.. LOL.. oh well.. it's God's will.. probably coz i'll have too much pride if I win.. sooo much of prizeeessss... eeEEeeee... *squeels in jealousy*... I kid.. lol.. but honestly.. it was soooo much of fun.. meeting the 4 other girls and 5 other guys.. I mean.. I didn't think people that nice and friendly existed in uni.. lol.. It's too bad i'm leavin this semester.. would've love to have gotten to know them better.. :) 

Gonna miss you guys!! Hugs to Joanna, Nisha, Tse Leng, Allysha, Andy, Ilyas, Gian Yang, Joo Ztat and Justin my partner! lol.. awesome time.. awesome memories! :)

Tse Leng (Ms Monash), Nisha, Joo Ztat (Mr Monash), Andy, Ilyas, Justin, Me, Joanna, Allysha and Gian Yang

Now two weeks left to finish my never ending thesis and study for my final final final semester. Oh God help me.. well before I end I just wanna leave with this quote I heard from the show "Letters to Juliet".. lovely :)

'What' and ‘if’ two words as non-threatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: 

‘What if?'..."

"I don't know how your story ended.But I know that if what you felt then was love - true love - then it's never too late. If it was true then it why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that feels like... a love to leave loved ones for, a love to cross oceans for... but I'd like to believe if ever felt it. I'd have the courage to seize it. I hope you had the courage to seize it, Claire. And if you didn't, I hope one day that you will."

- Letters to Juliet

I'm sorry our love wasn't true.. maybe it was to you but it wasn't to me.. and I apologize for allowing it to go this far.. The words I said in the past are kept in the past.. I wish you all the best.. and I know I have no right to just say this and I know It's not as easy as I put it to be.. But I hope you move on and find true love someday.. I wish you all the best for the future.. and once again i'm sorry. This concludes my explanations and my defending and all this related.. Thanks for trying.. Goodbye

The race

Thanks. You are the only one who talks sense into me. This sounds familiar.

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

Don’t keep yourself away
Don’t live your life that way
Of course he’s gonna say anything you want
Then leave quicker than he came now you got yourself to blame
Don’t put yourself back in the fire again

It’s the same damn things you’re so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it’s the same mistakes that I’m watching you make
You do it over and over again

So before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

Oh, please don’t be so naïve
Don’t wait ‘till your heart bleeds
Love wasn’t built for speed, listen to me girl
He keeps fuckin’ with your head, tryna get you into bed
And in the morning you’ll just hate yourself

It’s the same damn things you’re so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it’s the same mistakes that I’m watching you make
You do it over and over again

So before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

And you give until there’s nothing to give
Until there’s nothing to give
Until there’s nothing to give x3

Before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for everything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Before they break you down, down, down
Cause girl they’ll bring you down, down, down
Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down
Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down

is this real?

Time passes and life goes on, 
I cant keep holding on to all that's happened to me,
but how does someone look pass everything else?
it's like i'm choosing not to be selfish when in the end the decisions i make reflects the very opposite
wanting to do what is right sometimes just dont seem right in the eyes of others.
Especially when they dont wanna see the truth.
dont wanna accept reality
I dont know how to accept it myself but i'm learning.
I can't keep holding on to this
to everything that affects me.
Like a Balloon holding air.. the more it builts up.. 
i'm gonna explode.. and I can't do this anymore.. 
I can't keep up with the turning tables.

big girl's blouse~

Fine. i'm a coward. I know however, that I have always cherished and appreciated honesty. Yes, no matter how sucky the truth is, I would prefer the honest truth or opinion rather than the meaningless white lie.

However, there are two kinds of honesty in this world.

1. Honesty because you love someone and care for them
      or
2. Honesty with the intention to hurt someone

And basically all that comes from your mouth stinks of the latter. Asshole. I dont need you to look at me with your judgemental eyes and laugh at me in the state that I am. Yes I am stressed and wasnt looking too good and yes I have gained a lot of weight. But there is no reason for you to intentionally dwell on the matter because in the end you know shit about me and what i'm going through. and dont think I dont know what you talk about behind my back. You should see yourself in the mirror and remember who you were before this. Because you seriously lost yourself somewhere along the way and I truly hope and pray you find yourself again.
So thanks. but No thanks. Keep it to yourself.

Honesty. I appreciate it. With the right intention in mind.