big girl's blouse~

Fine. i'm a coward. I know however, that I have always cherished and appreciated honesty. Yes, no matter how sucky the truth is, I would prefer the honest truth or opinion rather than the meaningless white lie.

However, there are two kinds of honesty in this world.

1. Honesty because you love someone and care for them
      or
2. Honesty with the intention to hurt someone

And basically all that comes from your mouth stinks of the latter. Asshole. I dont need you to look at me with your judgemental eyes and laugh at me in the state that I am. Yes I am stressed and wasnt looking too good and yes I have gained a lot of weight. But there is no reason for you to intentionally dwell on the matter because in the end you know shit about me and what i'm going through. and dont think I dont know what you talk about behind my back. You should see yourself in the mirror and remember who you were before this. Because you seriously lost yourself somewhere along the way and I truly hope and pray you find yourself again.
So thanks. but No thanks. Keep it to yourself.

Honesty. I appreciate it. With the right intention in mind.

Time is ticking. Woops

The month of Birthdays arrived and it only made me realize how quickly we are all growing up and how much we've been through getting to where we are. Its amazing how each person's life has changed over time and how we look at issues nowadays. The things we found important back when we were younger all seem so insignificant now as we look towards the bigger picture in life. As we all continue on our journey in life. I pray we will always be there to support each other :) Love you all. Thanks for always being there for me :)

Happy Birthday Jo-Ann :)

All the best in your future undertakings! You always had the craziest laughter and the more hyper personality! lol but that's your charm. Dont turn Queensland upside down ya! haha

Happy Birthday Vanessa! :)

Hey babes, you're getting more gorgeous by the day. You are really one crazy and funny person.
Thanks for listening to my random complaints. All the best in all you do!

You're fabulous! :)

 Happy Birthday Wai Ming! :)

Hey tall fella! i like this picture. You look short. LOL

Anyways, thanks for being a great friend. You're one of the kindest people i know. Well to me la.. not to Ju Beng.. hahaha and You've graduated!! so i wish u all the best in ur future undertakings. When you're rich, dont forget the rest of us engineers k.. lol

Happy Birthday Cally! :)

Hey gorgeous! You're growing more and more beautiful by the day. Our lives has changed so much over the years and it feels great to know i can still talk to you when we meet up once in a blue moon! haha.

All the best in your studies k :)

Love you loads!

Happy Birthday Aunty Doris! :)

I've never seen a tiny person eat as much as you aunty!! haha

Love you loads. Hope you had a good birthday celebration!

Happy Birthday Rachel! :)

Hey sweating! lol My-oh-my have you grown up. I still remember when you used to be 13!! and it's crazy how matured you are now. I swear sometimes i feel like you are older than us. haha. You're growing more beautiful by the day and i wish you all the best in UK k.. Dont worry. You'll do great.

Love ya! :)

Happy Birthday Su Ann! :)

Planet Botak Su! akakaka.. i've known you since kindergarten.. The first thing i have to say is.. HOW DID I TAHAN YOU ALL THESE YEARS?? zzzz.. lucky i didn't know you in primary school.. if not, i'll die edi wor... hahahah just kidding!!! It's so funny how we always seem to understand each other and similar things always happen in our lives. and when we catch up after MONTHS of postponing getogethers, it's like high school all over again! It's so easy to talk to you! lol. You're a wonderful person. Thanks for being a great friend. Love ya! :)

This is your Life

yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
yesterday is a promise that you've broken
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
this is your life and today is all you've got now
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes

this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose

yesterday is a kid in the corner
yesterday is dead and over

this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/switchfoot-lyrics/this-is-your-life-lyrics.html]
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose

don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes

this is your life are you who you want to be
this is your life are you who you want to be

this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose

and you had everything to lose

Familiar Feeling

Ever felt like you were just watching a movie of your life and the main character which is yourself, doesn't really seem like you anymore? I feel numb to my own emotions. I'm sad to the point of silence, angry to the point of tears and when i'm lonely, all i hear are my thoughts. I dont even know why i'm writing this. and i can't figure out words to blog. Usually i have a story to tell.. or something i thought about to write.. but i just realized nothing really is about myself even though i'm writing about myself when i blog.. dont know if you understand what i'm trying to say, but that's just it.. what the hell is wrong with me?.. what happened to me?.. i dont know how to blogs about a party i went to.. or tell a story about something funny that happened.. or laugh about my day.. tell love stories of my life.. i dont know how to do all that anymore.. I keep wondering what ppl's first impressions of me are like?.. and what are their thoughts about me?.. how is it that i struggle so hard to have conversations with people sometimes.. worst of all i realized is that i dont even know how to keep a friend.. i never did.. do my friends think i'm weird when i have nothing to say sometimes? do they think i'm being cold or do they think i'm boring?.. maybe i am.. coz i dont do things ppl usually do.. i dont go out partying.. i dont exactly shop anymore.. if i watch a movie or smth.. i forget half of it the moment i walk out the cinema.. so what's there to talk about movies?.. how do i intend to keep friends if i can't even socialize?.. i dont like calling ppl coz i really just dont know what to talk about.. i dunno if this is a phase in my life of depression i'm going through or maybe i have bipolar disorder? lol. u know what they say.. once you hear about a kinda disease, you tend to think you have it.. or find reasons to associate yourself to it.. i thought i had a life and a plan for my future.. but now.. as ppl start to leave... as friends find new friends.. as my studies are ending.. i realize i have.. nothing..
Help me find myself... please...

Fly Away Birdie~

So i switched from Vampire Diaries to Pretty Little Liars now.. i cant say it's as interesting. but it's something to fill my time.. Vampire diaries was just too damn awesome.. anyhoos.. I fried some pancakes for my Daddy's birthday.. it was awesome.. Thanks shamus for the recipe :)

Last week was Jo-Ann's birthday and the theme was Naughty or Nice.. what a fun night to release the stress i felt throughout the week.. a little too much alcohol but it was fun :P

Last week was tough and i know this week isnt gonna be any better.. but i'm gonna be optimistic for the first time in my life towards the future because i know there's a bright one ahead.. even though the journey is long and rough.. My heart is going round and round in circles and i hope it still holds together..