a familiar feeling~

ouch

Ok.. Major tooth ache.. Major Wisdom tooth coming out.. can't close my mouth or talk properly without feeling agonizing pain.. but then again my friend Vik told me this story about having to remove an inch of his jaw bone and scared the creeps out of me.. I thank God it's just a wisdom tooth.. but still.. it's PAINNNN..

Anyways, I was having a conversation with the DJ bunch last night and V in aussie this morning, hoping she has settled down and all.. and now all I am thinking about is how LDR is.. for those who do not know what it means, it's Long Distance Relationship. I mean in the past it was crazy difficult when you wouldnt even be able to see the person yet wait for 3 weeks for a single mail to arrive in the post.. or wait for a random phone call from a public phone with bad reception and lagging time.. but now things have changed and with Skype, BBM, Whatsapp, Ping Chat.. ppl are able to keep in touch and communicate on a daily basis..
So how was it that back then, that even though they could Barely meet each other, the relationship would last for so long.. until one partner comes back 3 years later and they get married..
when nowadays, you hear stories of infidelities and communication difficulties leading to break ups and such..I guess in the end it all comes down to love, commitment and most importantly Trust...
It's not easy to constantly remind urself to make time for a Skype call or to accomodate for time differences, but it is a change that you have to adapt to.. something that you choose to do because of Love.. and because of the relationship.. if u care for ur partner, u would commit to it.. and if the other half is busy.. we have to understand and reschedule the call no? and you know, life goes on.. and your life as well as your partner's life has to move on whether you are together or apart.. and there are going to be other ppl walking in and out of your lives.. Trust is crucial to know that ur other half is not gonna cheat on u.. and that u trust urself to be loyal and faithful...
so complicating right?? gees...My hats off completely to those suffering under LDR..
But like i said yesterday, God has a purpose for all of us.. and everything he does is right in his plan for us.. nothing is a mistake.. whatever we go through is a paving stone to our future.. in building our character to serve our purpose in life..
so, If God brought us together in this relationship, under his Love and Blessing, I trust God and whatever his plans for us throughout this journey, is for his greater good.. and it will be indeed..
a good outcome..

Have Hope :)

fly time fly~

I am exactly 5 more days away from freedom. Yeaps!! That's finally the end of my internship.. :) 3 Months just Flewwww By.. and i'm gonna say i'm really gonna miss everyone.. The friends I made here in such a short time, really holds a place in my memories forever. It's funny how God chooses the people to walk in and out of your life. The people you would least expect. But I know all of them are chosen to be there for a reason. Whether or not it's a person you like or dislike. God brought them into your life to fulfill HIS greater plan. Not OURS. I guess it's something everyone, especially myself, find it hard to accept sometimes. That the purpose of our lives is not for OURselves but for the greater glory of God. Whether life hurts us, or brings us joy, in the end, we have to fulfill the purpose for us being here. But i'm yet to figure out mine, and to be honest i think many people dont know theirs yet. The common man finds purpose in life by achieving goals, by being successful in both his wealth and his love life. But that however, is man's own definition of life for himself. Not God's. So in the end it all boils down to the decision on whether we are gonna continue walking through this life living it OUR way..or are we gonna except that this life is not for US. But in actualy truth, we are living it out for God and to achieve his purpose of putting us here. What do i do next?

My 40 days have just begun.

No strings Attached

So last week Mr.A and I went to watch "No Strings Attached". A new romantic comedy based on a couple or based on the story, two people who were "just friends" sleeping together with no implications and no commitments. Basically, "Friends with Benefits".

I think that from the many many many romantic comedies and tv series in the past, which took on this plot of Friends with Benefits, we all knew the ending of the show before it even begun. Obviously the girl and guy were gonna get together regardless, if not it wouldn't be a romantic comedy anymore.

However, to all kids out there. As much as we would like to believe in love and in fairy tales or in romantic comedies, it doesnt work out this way in real life. I mean seriously, it would most probably play out as the guy and girl sleeps together. One doesnt want to commit. The other wants to. One breaks up and moves on to find another Friend with Benefit. The other gets heart broken.
Yeaps. That sounds more like the reality i know in this world.

Anyways, But yet the trailer looked funny so we had to watch the movie.
And it really was funny to a certain extent. Though the character played by Natalie Portman was rather weird throughout the movie. I think it suited the role in a weird manner. Ashton Kutcher never failed to portray his usual crazy character or maybe just his true self throughout the movie.

There were parts of the movie that made us laugh our guts off and there were other stand stills in the movie but overall I would recommend you to watch it.
Although I would advice you to brace yourself from seeing Ashton Kutcher wearing nothing but a small dish towel around his @#$&

still..

I knew it all along and I knew it was a fact I was different and I have changed.. but I couldn't decide whether it was change for the better or the worst. All the more I couldnt Figure out What changed.. but I knew i felt different.. but now i see some things which i miss.. I dont talk about my feelings anymore or do i feel like feeling or talking in general.. When i hurt, I suck it up or put it in a bubble which I dont wanna touch.. I runaway because it's easier and I dont talk about things because generally I have nothing to say.. my mind blanks out frequently and I dont feel like I know what i'm doing or whether i'm doing the right thing in life.. I'm lost in my own mind and thoughts and I cant find my way out.. but I miss me.. I miss being confident.. being happy.. being dependant and independant at the same time.. I wish people were still around and I wish that life didn't take a turn on me.. I wish that I didnt take one two steps too far away from the people who cared for me in my life and I wish I held on tighter to those that I let go.. I wish I didn't lose touch with everyone from high school and I wish I remembered to keep in touch with the people I promise to.. but somehow in the end I blank out.. I forget everything.. what I did yesterday.. or what i felt.. or what I thought I'd do.. my plans.. my dreams.. my experiences.. I DONT KNOW.. but I know that something inside me hurts.. and I dont know what to do.. I'm sorry I never told anyone this.. and I'm sorry even more sorry I didn't tell You.. I'm sorry that I kept it in.. and no.. it's not something You can fix.. it's not something anyone can fix.. no one but God.. yet i'm afraid.. maybe i'm afraid God wont forgive me.. even though I know he will.. or i'm afraid that I would do the same thing again even after he forgives me.. the pain of not forgiving myself.. maybe that's what I feel? or is it emptiness or loneliness? Or hatred.. or anger.. I dont know.. I DONT KNOW.. I wish i knew.. but yet it's still there.. I just need the world to know i'm not perfect and i'm sorry to those who thought of me to be more perfect or more positive.. at least u know now that i am just human..

sigh.. I need to start letting out more..

... and please dont ask me about this. I just need to express myself freely without having to explain myself...

Again~

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone .....


Lady Antebellum - Never Alone

*tears