Monday, March 9, 2009
anoth-ER
i didn't wanna do it. but i was just so suprise you change it first. now the world knows. single.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Iko-there's nothing more
so i wake up everyday to go to uni.. or to go out.. and i put it on.. those pieces of metal.. each meaning something special to me.. one was given by an old best friend.. one was given by my grandmother.. one was given by me to you.. and i took all three and gave it to you...
but now it's back with me.. and i feel like it protects me.. and somehow.. everytime i have it.. i will never see you or accidentally bump into you.. the day i chose to be forgetful and those very pieces of metal that gives me courage was left untouched on my bedside table.. that day.. i see you... and that day... i was unprotected.. unshielded.. exposed.. and every bone and muscle in my body ached as i could only see what my eyes could see.. and yes... i believed you too... and yes.. you'd see it someday too.. but i didn't think i'd be the first one to see it... three times i passed by... just to make sure it's you.. maybe my eyes were playing games... and the fourth time.. you werent there anymore... but in front of me... and with strength i walk away.. but at the edge of escape.. i crumble... only to myself and not to the world.. only to find out that there's two? and another one, where something else happened? i mean why would you say not that one from there if you werent afraid i knew something... ppl ask me how did i.. how did i at first.. i said i dont know.. it was different.. you were different.. now i just wonder..
if love was just blind?
.
.
but now it's back with me.. and i feel like it protects me.. and somehow.. everytime i have it.. i will never see you or accidentally bump into you.. the day i chose to be forgetful and those very pieces of metal that gives me courage was left untouched on my bedside table.. that day.. i see you... and that day... i was unprotected.. unshielded.. exposed.. and every bone and muscle in my body ached as i could only see what my eyes could see.. and yes... i believed you too... and yes.. you'd see it someday too.. but i didn't think i'd be the first one to see it... three times i passed by... just to make sure it's you.. maybe my eyes were playing games... and the fourth time.. you werent there anymore... but in front of me... and with strength i walk away.. but at the edge of escape.. i crumble... only to myself and not to the world.. only to find out that there's two? and another one, where something else happened? i mean why would you say not that one from there if you werent afraid i knew something... ppl ask me how did i.. how did i at first.. i said i dont know.. it was different.. you were different.. now i just wonder..
if love was just blind?
.
.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
From Afar
okay so my blog has been depressing. again. but i can't help feeling this way. But anyways, courtesy of the Ceylonese i'm now reading a book called "The Secret".. hmm. it's like a book on positive thinking and how it relates to quantum physics and The Laws Of Attractions. Basically is was proven that centuries ago, greatest conquerers, artists, musicians.. discovered "The Secret" and they've been using it for ages to succeed in life. So What Is It??? Its basically how your universe revolves around your thoughts alone and every negative thought you think of becomes reality due to the Laws Of attraction. Well, long story short, It's time we stop saying "i dont think i can do it" and start saying "Bring it on. I can do it". Somehow today out of this week, was the first time i belch out in loud laughter for so long.. it's that laughter which i long awaited.. and this was just the sprinkle of flour in my cookie dough... I'm just waiting and anticipating that one laughter.. that one moment which i had before.. where i can laugh and smile and be soo soo happy and appreciatte everything around me... that one moment i lost.. that one moment i want to last a lifetime... well.. with my new quest of "the secret"..
i say.. I Will Find It.
Okay so uni started and i've been trying for the past 2 hours to upload pictures to make my blog seem less dull and depressing but i can't seem to let it load.. well yeah. today was a hectic day.. partially a waste of time and partially fun.. You see.. explain to me how productive it is to go for a 1 hour lecture from 8-9am and another 1 hour lecture from 2-3pm.. yeaps.. i had a 5 hour break in between.. filled with asam laksa, AnW waffle, ping pong, darts and just plain bumming..
Can i tell you how downright sad it is to just have 2 freaking weeks of holiday and come back 3 kgs heavier?? i mean come on. Talk about unfair when you see those "skinny bitches" (in mich's words) eating like a shit load of food and desserts and not putting on a single pound whereelse I on the other hand, choose only certain days to binge and indulge out of the whole month, and I end up like a bloated cow on a day of bad gas. I mean seriously. My Metabolism rate should be like close to 0 or something. Oh let me tell you that i found out my health is pretty screwed up and out of the month of January i had to go to the doctor like 4 times. Twice for blood tests, once for sugar level test and lastly for antibodies jab.. And I of all people.. am TERriFied of needles.. well i guess u have to when you find out that the count of antibodies you have is 10. So you then ask the doctor calmly.. "what's the normal count for antibodies in a person?" and he says "1000?"
..... and for two seconds you think to yourself.. "HOLY FFFFFFFFFFFFishsteaksnpepperonis... Jab me. Jab me NOW!" Well..on a positive note.. i'm glad to say the count is back on track and i'm On my way to a healthy lifestyle..
i dont know why i'm so hyper but i'm just typing out everything i feel and everything i've missed out on. i guess i miss the times where i can just express myself without feeling sad or guilty or getting questioned and ACCUSSEd the next day. I just need a breather and right now it seems like reality has been waving it's green ticks at me screaming CHECK CHECK CHECK for far too long and from now on i gotta start TRYing to get back up on my own feet. Well for those that dont know.. if you're blur enough not to notice how saddening my blog has been lately.. i think i've fallen into a deep case of depression and denial.. haha. as i always say "i'm in denial of myself"... and i can choose to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is fine and then cry to myself when i'm sad or i can choose to focus on the more positive things in life and try to move on.. ever since november last year my life has been going down the drain more and more each day.. it seemed like a stream flowing down it's path to the Waterfall.. well.. i can choose to acknowledge these issues and also to pray and know that everything will be alright in the hands of The Mighty One.
On a second, third, forth? note... The Watchmen... what a movie.. well.. i wont say it's damn good and i wont say it's damn bad but all i can say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... honestly... you have to watch it to understand me.. i laughed so damn loud in the cinema you have no idea... OH THE STUPIDITY.... aih... Twisties. Thanks :)
Lastly, i've given up meat and chocolates for the month of lent so please wish me luck.. i've got 40 days to go and i'm dying each moment... some can't live without their rice.. their chicken and beef... but honestly.. i can't live without my chocolates.. This is the first time since Nov that i havent eaten chocolate everyday okay.. now that is BAd... so yeah.. wish me luck..
anyways. i'll try to upload the pictures when i can. bye all. :)
If you Judge people, you will have no time to Love them - Mother Theresa
.
i say.. I Will Find It.
Okay so uni started and i've been trying for the past 2 hours to upload pictures to make my blog seem less dull and depressing but i can't seem to let it load.. well yeah. today was a hectic day.. partially a waste of time and partially fun.. You see.. explain to me how productive it is to go for a 1 hour lecture from 8-9am and another 1 hour lecture from 2-3pm.. yeaps.. i had a 5 hour break in between.. filled with asam laksa, AnW waffle, ping pong, darts and just plain bumming..
Can i tell you how downright sad it is to just have 2 freaking weeks of holiday and come back 3 kgs heavier?? i mean come on. Talk about unfair when you see those "skinny bitches" (in mich's words) eating like a shit load of food and desserts and not putting on a single pound whereelse I on the other hand, choose only certain days to binge and indulge out of the whole month, and I end up like a bloated cow on a day of bad gas. I mean seriously. My Metabolism rate should be like close to 0 or something. Oh let me tell you that i found out my health is pretty screwed up and out of the month of January i had to go to the doctor like 4 times. Twice for blood tests, once for sugar level test and lastly for antibodies jab.. And I of all people.. am TERriFied of needles.. well i guess u have to when you find out that the count of antibodies you have is 10. So you then ask the doctor calmly.. "what's the normal count for antibodies in a person?" and he says "1000?"
..... and for two seconds you think to yourself.. "HOLY FFFFFFFFFFFFishsteaksnpepperonis... Jab me. Jab me NOW!" Well..on a positive note.. i'm glad to say the count is back on track and i'm On my way to a healthy lifestyle..
i dont know why i'm so hyper but i'm just typing out everything i feel and everything i've missed out on. i guess i miss the times where i can just express myself without feeling sad or guilty or getting questioned and ACCUSSEd the next day. I just need a breather and right now it seems like reality has been waving it's green ticks at me screaming CHECK CHECK CHECK for far too long and from now on i gotta start TRYing to get back up on my own feet. Well for those that dont know.. if you're blur enough not to notice how saddening my blog has been lately.. i think i've fallen into a deep case of depression and denial.. haha. as i always say "i'm in denial of myself"... and i can choose to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is fine and then cry to myself when i'm sad or i can choose to focus on the more positive things in life and try to move on.. ever since november last year my life has been going down the drain more and more each day.. it seemed like a stream flowing down it's path to the Waterfall.. well.. i can choose to acknowledge these issues and also to pray and know that everything will be alright in the hands of The Mighty One.
On a second, third, forth? note... The Watchmen... what a movie.. well.. i wont say it's damn good and i wont say it's damn bad but all i can say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... honestly... you have to watch it to understand me.. i laughed so damn loud in the cinema you have no idea... OH THE STUPIDITY.... aih... Twisties. Thanks :)
Lastly, i've given up meat and chocolates for the month of lent so please wish me luck.. i've got 40 days to go and i'm dying each moment... some can't live without their rice.. their chicken and beef... but honestly.. i can't live without my chocolates.. This is the first time since Nov that i havent eaten chocolate everyday okay.. now that is BAd... so yeah.. wish me luck..
anyways. i'll try to upload the pictures when i can. bye all. :)
If you Judge people, you will have no time to Love them - Mother Theresa
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)