sometimes

oh my gosh. you fucking asshole. i can't believe what you said.all this time ok we fought but not once have a told anyone the things you told me and you dare... you DARE tell what i told you??? and to use it against me???? to fucking ruin what i have?? is that what you were trying to accomplish?? oh my gosh.. please la k..no one is perfect.. no one is ever happy with everything okay.. people quarrel... you dared to use that? hah!!!!! you're the one to talk.. boy oh boy do i have much to tell the world if i wanted to... but no.. i am not stooping down to your pathetic level... and your embarrassing excuse for everything... what else you got to say huh?? bring it on baybeh... cause you know what.. i dont care... i'll start by telling the world... yes.. i was screwed up... yes i made a whole lot of mistakes... yes i bitched about a lot of things... but you know what... i'm telling the world now too that i'm changing.. and i'm gonna be a better person someday... you can stick to your ways and stick to your sneaking around.. manipulating words and backstabbing... but i'll change... and someday i pray and hope you do too...
happy valentines day. has a ring to it doesn't it?

.

i think of the moon and the image comes back to me.
its glow lightening up the sky and the smiles of my friends below.
the silence awakens my senses and the waves restores my peace.
and yet the water drips not at the soles of my feet but at the bridges of my cheeks.
with just one message i feel the ache again.
and i think maybe it's time to unlock the chains around my heart
but i just can't find the key.
and i push away every soul that comes near it.
like the beast guarding the gates of hell
i unleash my anger on those that try to enter.
not because of hatred but of fear.
and deep behind those walls the brows of guilt slowly emerges.
and i feel pathetically sorry for my very soul and sorry for those around me
for in the words of the wise "i know not what i do" nor what i say anymore
life has become a whirlpool on it's own
a toy to the evil and to grief upon by the mighty.
my hero left unspoken of and my enemy in power.
and all i can do is whisper an apology to you
and return with frustration and anger.
sometimes.
sometimes
sometimes.
life goes on. with or without you.
-lj

Happy valentines day to all of my friends.

near or far. before or now.
to all.

thanks for being there for me. budweiser :)
thanks for the poem. Dr. Love
thanks for caring. JsQ.
thanks for the messages. sisley.
thanks for the talk. starbucks.
thanks for the time and words. sushi.
thanks for smile. eurasian.
thanks for the years. paramore.
thanks for everything. oreo cheese. coo coo :)





life's just so damn good isn't it? well.. on the brighter side.. i just had chocolates :)

haahahahaha

you know what the funny thing is
i actually thought it was about me
and i actually went
pfft,. i'm a fool
.
.
and it really wasn't a cross

undefined twist of the lips

its pace is slow
it creeps without a glow
inch by inch it grows
ever patient as i watch it subside
with all my might i try
but it's hard to comply
to something so simple yet
seems so impossible
to grasp with might
yet yearning to release
and with all this i still try
yet i fail again
it's there he says
but it's empty
hollow like the very soul itself
gone until it sees again
what it once knew
blinded by the world
they come ever willingly
not giving up
yet not knowing what their actions do
again i say
inch by inch it grows
i tell myself everyday
yet i dont see it
they dont see it
i can't believe i thought it would
where is it
i want it
i need it
i wish it were real
the undefined twist of the tainted lips
the smile i once knew

-lj