Love this song

The wake of Devastation~

Rain is pouring hard now. Out of nowhere i looked up and saw the crazy blizzard. It's so heavy i swear it looks like haze. Just a mere grey outside. Nothing more. and considering i have my headphones on blasting at the loudest volume, I totally didnt notice the rain till i looked up. I think that's how my life is lately. I feel fine. sometimes. Like nothing is wrong. everything is going according to plan. i'm fine. great. fine. You know what they say about being fine? Freaked-out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. The person that came up with this is either a genius or he was as Fine as how he defined it to be. Lol. But yeah. it's so easy to go on by pretending that nothing is wrong instead of acknowledging it. When i feel the down emotions coming on. I brush it off or I post it on fb. Lol. Life has come down to that pathetic state. But there has to be a point where we all say F- it and deal with your damn fears.. What scares me the most? Losing. I mean i dont mean to sound like a sore loser or a competitive nut. What i mean by losing is losing anything, everything, people. What if one day you wake up and you realize you have nothing? This fear of losing makes you hold on to things tighter. So tight that you fool yourself. You think that the more you try or the harder you try, you wont lose. and sometimes you go so far in trying not to lose something/someone you hold so tight to the reality you made up in your own head, that in the end all your doing is hurting the other person. It's kinda like holding a soap bar in your hand.. The harder you squeeze on it. The easier it slips away. Maybe we hold so tight onto someone that we dont give them space to breathe? This fear of losing drives us to do so many things. Unnecessary or not. It drives us. Really, how far are we willing to go? I know deep down all of us have this fear. Because really, whats the point of living in the world, having everything and nothing at the same time. It's like the movies where the rich guy has everything, all the luxury in the world and all the things that money can buy, but at the same time, he's the loneliest person at heart. I'm saying this because money cant buy happiness and neither can Fear. I think of everything that is capable of being lost in my life and the thing that scares me most is losing my faith. After all, everything leaves in this world, people, clothes, cars, careers, money.. in the end when we leave earth, it all comes down to God and when I stand in front of God when the day comes.. what exactly do I say? am i prepared today if life were to end tomoro? What have I accomplished in life? The fear. Fear of God is what drives me the most but yet the fear of everything else is conquering my life right now. Fear of failing my exams. Fear of losing the people I love. Fear of driving away the people who care. I woke up this morning in a mode of sudden depression and it felt like I lost myself for a moment. I dont do the things I usually do anymore and I dont feel the same way. I guess it's the transition period in my life. When i'm slowly moving deeper into adulthood. It's so easy to depend on someone else but the more we do that, the more we lose our own strength and the more we depend on other people's strength rather than God's strength. I can hold on to things and can run to someone else the moment I feel scared or insecure or regretful.. But in the end, I have to let go and grow on my own. When life gets comfortable, that's when  it's the hardest to grow. We're so contented in everything we do, that we dont want change and when a challenge comes our way, we fall. Because we are not prepared for changes. Like i said before. Change is good. and change drives us. If there's no challenges in our life. We'll never grow. When life gets uneasy, insecure, that's your window of opportunity. Take it.

Breathe - Taylor Swift

First time i'm agreeing to a Taylor Swift song.
I like how music speaks to ur soul.

Lyrics:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/breathe-lyrics-taylor-swift.html

so long?

“I do not say ‘good-bye.’ I believe that’s one of the bullshittiest words ever invented. It’s not like you’re given the choice to say ‘bad-bye’ or ‘awful-bye’ or ‘couldn’t-care-less-about-you-bye.’ Every time you leave, it’s supposed to be a good one. Well, I don’t believe in that. I believe against that.”

—	John Green (Will Grayson)

You know~

You just do...