overdue

wow. so long overdue. i found my old thumbdrive!!

HAPPY Super BELATED BIRTHDAY MICHELLE..

sometimes...we do what we have to do

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...

and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go

every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do

but I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how
to let you go
I don't know how
to let you go

a glowing ember
burning hot
burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do

and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go

beauty inverts

it hurts.
it all hurts.
screw it
right?

tell me...

where did the times go?
.

tell me.....

cafe cruel

sometimes in order for one to be right.. others interfere.. and when this comes to place.. you can't bring truth to justice cause others are at stake... and no matter how hard you try to prove a point.. you have to care how others will have to suffer the consequences.. and no matter how much u try to make things right for everyone it just seems like everything is going wrong... only for you and you alone... when all the world sees is the joy they go through each day... the thought on how they made the lives of others better.. but do you really?? do you really improve anything when you take an action that may give a fair chance of both a good and bad outcome.. how do you know for sure it's entirely good... cause really sometimes the person it affects most just shuts up and will not say otherwise.. so tell me... how can i or how do you keep pleasing the world without killing the one person that u know will be affected by the outcome the most which is yourself? or the one you love?... would i rather wanna hear about the things that are going on around me or stay to totally oblivious cause sometimes i feel like thats better... but most of the time.. i rather know... but each time i come closer to the truth.. i am let down and i am hurt and a little peace of me is taken away again... where do i stand in this world when all of me disappears and all that's left is the shell of my soul which at this point is as broken as the very soul itself.. where will life lead when all that seems to be right around u has slowly taken a toll on you and have destined to a different path.. how does life twist so badly that when everything is right, in two seconds or in a drive.. alters everything to a different road and all that was once right in my blinded eyes... have gone wrong.. is the shade that blinded my eyes finally lifted.. or the mask that they,you,i.. wore finally fell off?

whatever

you know what is pissing off??
when u go on and on about how this and how that..
and ok.. maybe sometimes i'm overboard?
but wow.. arent u the same?
dont u just love the internet?
technology.. the future..
and here you are telling me this and that..
and there you go.. telling the world something else..
you know what.. as much as i have taken..
i dont know how much more i can take..
i was so close... so so close to falling back into it...
i'm glad reality struck me...
or should i say i'm glad the truth struck me.
pfft..

hipocrite

hipocrite

dig deeper to be pilled up?

i feel like i'm digging my own grave.
new years eve was great.
what more than to spend it with your friends.
omg. mosquitoes. lol.
once again.
masks. they are so easy to wear.
fuck it.